Canada’s Coach Blog – Fearless Living Women
Great start to the New Year for more Fearless Living. If you are reading this, then it means you yearn for more Fearless Living in your love, work and life in general.
What are you postponing in your life because you are unsure of what, where you want to go or be? What “resolutions” did you take on January 1st? Is it the first year you make those resolutions? If not, what happened in the previous year(s) that prevented you from achieving your goals?
Don’t feel bad. Feeling bad is totally useless – in fact it’s not only useless, it’s detrimental to future success. It’s hard to go for what you want when your left hand is beating yourself up for your past mistakes. Beating yourself up is the best way to let Fear run your life.
You don’t Beat Yourself Up you may think. Well, how often do you “should” about yourself? Should be thinner, better (parent, spouse, friend, employee, sister, daughter). The list can go on and on. Every time you use a should on yourself, you can be certain to make yourself feel just a little or a lot worse. Should’ing on yourself is not the same as identifying and choosing to do something differently, which is a very empowering way to improve the quality of your life.
Perfectionism has become a rampant disease in today’s society. Yes a disease that plays on our insecurities (we all have them). Who you surround yourself with (Fear Junkies???) or even worse, toxic people who put you down, will make you feel worse about yourself, not “good enough” and quicker to beat yourself up when something does not work.
Here are two tools you can use to limit the damage.
First, write down three acknowledgements about yourself every day. Point form will do. For example: Today I acknowledge myself for making that dreaded phone call. Or today I acknowledge myself for following through on my exercise commitment. Or today, I acknowledge myself for working on my website all morning (this one is mine).
Second, identify the people in your life who do not support, encourage or believe in you. The naysayers. The Fear Junkies. Some may just be afraid that you won’t succeed and that’s why they are not fans of your projects. Others are jealous and yet others may have just liked what you brought to the table before you changed. Their “needs” are no longer filled by the new you. As much as you can, avoid some and delete others from your life. Now is a good time to practice speaking up for yourself and what you want.
If you can recognize yourself in the above and if you are ready to stop beating yourself up, to create a more fulfilling life, have more energy, and you are ready to invest in yourself, you call me at 613-744-1538- tell me your name, your phone number, what you want to achieve, what’s not working for you right now and a little bit about your life. I will communicate with you and we’ll set up a one hour coaching conversation to give you some value and to see if we are a good fit. No selling or hidden strings. I work with a very small number of clients at any one time and only with people who are a resounding “YES, I want to work with you.”
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.,
Transformational Coaching for Women over 40