Incredulity, or denial of what is

I had a funny experience last Sunday.  I wanted to get some Christmas gifts at Lee Valley Tools.  So after my Tai Chi practice, I drove across town to their store.  I did not think I was particularly wise to go shopping on a Sunday afternoon, a few weeks before Christmas,  but decided to do it anyway.

When I got there, the parking lot was… empty.  I was incredulous.  The store could not be closed on a Sunday in December.  Maybe it opened at 1 p.m.???  The temperature was frigid, around -20C.  Not believing the store could actually be closed on Sundays, I walked to the front door to see the sign: Closed on Sundays, which brought the thought “Ican’t believe this!”

This was without much consequences.  But it brought me to times in my life when I was incredulous.  In actual denial that what I was seeing simply could not be happening.  Mostly it happened in or around close relationships and around health matters too.  It can actually be around what one feels. It’s usually about not wanting to accept reality and it can wreck havoc on your life.  It usually involves trying to convince yourself that your perception is off, that things will get better, that he or she will change (a favorite) and a few other delusional self-talk.

And that kind of thinking will sap your energy. It amounts to pushing against a wall and telling yourself that’s it’s a door and it will eventually open.  You can push all you want, it’s a wall and no, won’t open.  You are essentially wasting a lot of energy that no amount of sleep will replace.

If you can recognize yourself in the above and if you are ready to dig deep for your truth and have more energy and are ready to invest in yourself, you can  call me at 613-744-1538- tell me your name, your phone number, what you want to achieve,  what’s not working for you right now and a little bit about your life.  I will communicate with you and we’ll set up a one hour coaching conversation to give you some value and to see if we are a good fit.  No selling or hidden strings.  I work with a very small number of clients at any one time and only with people who are a resounding “YES, I want to work with you.”

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.,

Transformational Coaching for Women over 40


This has appeared in my previous blog on

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