Archive for April 24, 2015

Stop struggling: Trust your Diary

Are you struggling with a decision right now?  One week you think you should stay, the next you just want out – of the job, the friendship, the relationship.  And it’s been going on for a while now?

I have a fairly quick, simple method to help you decide.  Start a diary about this particular situation.  For a whole month, take a few minutes every day to document what has happened and how you feel, really feel deep down.  If you are unhappy, sad, fed up, disgusted write it down, and give examples of why you feel so.  The same way, if you are happy, write down why, with examples.

After a month, get yourself to a quiet place where you can review your entries of the month without being interrupted.  Read everything you have written.  Highlight in green everything that you saw as good and positive.  Highlight in red or another color everything that you saw as bad, negative or downright ugly about that situation.

Putting reality on paper prevents elective memory – that is usually just remembering the good and excusing either bad behaviour or forgetting how your needs are not met.  If you are really honest during your daily writings, this should give you a pretty good idea of the reality and help you make your decision.

Want to go one step further, share your writing with a trusted friend for support and accountability.

If you are ready to make difficult decisions in your life and want more support to stop struggling, call me during regular weekday business hours, at 613-744-1538, for a discovery session (free) to help you decide if you are ready to invest in a coaching relationship to change your life.

Have a great day

Marguerite

 

EFT

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a gem of a tool and it can be put to work in any area of your life could use a little pick-me-up?   Let me guess. Is it the place where you feel least comfortable saying no? No to the boss who expects you to stay late without warning, no to the friend or family member who surely does not expect you to say no to a request. Or is it saying no to that too-big-too-sweet dessert? One way to make it easier to say no is to remember that doing so means you are saying yes to you, to what you need and want for yourself – more time, to be healthier, rest, fun – yes, it’s ok to want more fun in your life.

Choose the area where it’s most difficult for you to say no and, you guessed it, do a few rounds of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping. Do it a few times a day before you are faced with the yes or no decision. For example “Even though I find it difficult to say no to _____, I totally and completely love, accept and forgive myself.” The more you will tap in advance, the easier it will be when the occasion happens to say no to the friend, the boss or the piece of cake.  It can also be saying yes to receiving, whether it is love or a piece of cake.
The higher your self-esteem, the more you can say yes to what is good for you.
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
A shorter version of this article has appeared in one of my previous blogs.